Hi, we are Kim and Steve Cooper and this is The Love Safety Net Members Area.
For 15 years we have been online offering an inexpensive and private alternative to marriage counselling and divorce.
If you are looking to build a stronger and more loving family, we hope that you will check out our resources and decide to come join our online community.
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Many years ago Steve was working as a barman, coming home drunk most nights—long after our children were asleep. I was left at home—usually with no money—and three kids under ten that somehow I had to feed and entertain.
I started to look online for help on how to deal with a husband who lacked empathy. ‘Change the locks’ was the only advice that I received. I was told repeatedly that there was no chance of Steve maturing into a responsible husband and father, and that I was delusional if I didn’t attempt to block him out of my life.
Thankfully I didn’t listen.
Yet, whether a couple stays together or not, resolving the conflict is always considered the best outcome.
How We Resolved Our Differences
once I determined that our family would not be divided, I discovered that the business world has far better advice—on just about every level–than the soft-boiled romantic platitudes that are generally offered to families.
I stopped demanding things from Steve and our children and started working on improving my role as a leader in our family.
Help! My Family Is In Crisis
The Love Safety Net is a family-run, independent business that does not serve corporate, government or legal agencies but speaks directly to those in need. For 15 years we have been online offering an inexpensive and private alternative to marriage counseling and divorce.
The shared experience of those following our recommendations has yielded close to 2 thousand positive testimonials to date. Our work has also helped change the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the currentto admit the need for more research.
Running a successful marriage takes the same level of skill and commitment as running any successful business. Similar to making a decision to get fit and lose weight, the work involved in getting your family better organised can be daunting to take on. Yet, just as we are warned of the dangers of heart disease and obesity, we want to warn you of the dangers you will face if your family remains divided and working against each other.
Our members’ area has practical resources you can use to deal with these threats.
Whether You Divorce or Not
Encouraging family leaders to up-skill and get organised does not mean that we are against separation and divorce. Parents who are organised and living in different homes will work much better at protecting themselves and their children.
Most important in this protection is that you work to resolve the conflict. Statistics on child welfare show that, whether you stay together or not, resolving the conflict should always be your first aim.
Failing this – you being better organised will help your life move forward somewhere more positive and safe.
Because psychology tends to dominate the sphere of marriage advice, narcissism and codependency were the first destructive mindsets I learned about when searching for help. As these terms were the focus of the online conversation about marriage politics they became a central feature in our work.
While our work still includes psychology and neuroscience, the principles offered here at the Love Safety Net Members Area are more practical and focus on the ‘nuts and bolts’ of running a functional home.
Beyond the psychology, Steve and my goal was always to overcome our differences and put solid business structures in place in our home. This was slow going, as we adapted and trialed ideas from the business world. As we have made progress our work has matured these days, and is now less about psychology and more about marriage politics. Not the politics of governments but the personal politics of how our homes are run.
With no one to guide us Steve and I became trailblazers, sharing the successful steps we took in our books, and our failures and frustrations on our blog. Our journey has been difficult and sometimes messy. Still, we are proud of our independence and the honesty it has allowed us. We hope that our shared experience and guidance helps your ‘family’s recovery’ to be far less complex than ours has been.
We are not perfect, but squarely on our feet and learning and growing together now the intergenerational healing in our family is complete.
If you are interested in the psychology of abusive relationships, please learn the signs of Narcissism and Codependence in your marriage.
When you are ready to move beyond psychology and get down to the business of building a better family, check out the steps involved at Family Fundamentals on this website.
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