Hi, we are Kim and Steve Cooper and this is The Love Safety Net Members Area. For 15 years we have been online offering an inexpensive and private alternative to marriage counselling and divorce.
If you aim to build a stronger and more loving family, browse our book titles and join us in our online community.
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Many years ago Steve was working as a barman, coming home drunk most nights—long after our children were asleep. I was left at home—usually with no money—and three kids under ten that I somehow had to feed and entertain.
I started to look online for help with how to deal with a husband who lacked empathy. ‘Change the locks’ was the only advice I received. I was told repeatedly that there was no chance of Steve maturing into a responsible husband and father, and that I was delusional if I didn’t attempt to block him out of my life.
Thankfully I didn’t listen.
Yet–whether a couple divorce or not–statistics show that resolving the conflict is always the best outcome.
How We Resolved Our Differences
Once I determined that our family would not be divided, I eventually discovered that the business world had far better advice—on just about every level—than the soft-boiled romantic platitudes generally offered to families.
I stopped demanding change and instead started taking action, working at improving my role as a leader in our home.
Help! My Family Is In Crisis
The Love Safety Net is a family-run, independent business that does not serve corporate, government or legal agencies but speaks directly to individuals and families in need. For 15 years we have been online offering an inexpensive and private alternative to marriage counselling and divorce.
The experience shared with us by those following our recommendations has provided us with nearly 2 thousand positive testimonials to date. Our work also helped change the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the currentwhich now admits the need for more research.
We have raised a lantern of hope for families that were once told that separation–without closure–was their only path forward, even when the statistics show the very real dangers of this path.
Like most important things in life, still, there are no easy answers. Running a successful marriage takes the same level of skill and commitment as running any successful organization of people.
Similar to making a decision to get healthy and lose weight, the work involved in getting your family better organized will take commitment and almost certainly will be daunting to take on. Yet, just like the dangers of heart disease and obesity, the dangers you will face if your family remains divided and working against each other may be life-threatening if you put those changes off.
The conflict in your home will most likely escalate if you do not make an effort to turn the situation around.
Our books and members’ area have practical resources to help you deal with these threats.
Whether You Divorce or Not
Encouraging you to level up your leadership skills and better organize your family life does not mean we believe that couples can always avoid separation and divorce. Parents who are able to work together without conflict will better protect themselves and their children even if they live in different homes.
Most important is that you work to resolve the conflict. Statistics on child welfare show that, whether you stay together or not, resolving the conflict should always be your first aim.
Failing this–your work to become better organized may still help your life move forward to somewhere more positive and safe.
Because psychology tends to dominate the sphere of marriage advice, narcissism and codependency were the first destructive mindsets that I learned about when I was first began searching for help. These terms were the focus of the online conversation about marriage politics and became a central feature in our work.
Our work today still includes psychology, neuroscience and emotional intelligence training, yet the principles offered are practical. Our steps and exercises focus on the ‘nuts and bolts’ of running a loving and functional home.
The psychology of narcissism and codependency helped us identify the bad stereotypes we had fallen into, yet our goal was always to overcome our differences and put better organizational practices in place in our home. This was slow going, as we trialled ideas that we adapted from the business world.
As our work has matured it is now less about psychology and more about marriage politics. Not the politics of governments but the personal politics of how our homes are run.
Kim and I are not experts we are trailblazers. Our books share the successful steps we have discovered on our journey alongside our failures and frustrations which we share on our blog. Our family’s journey has been difficult and messy at times. Still, we are proud of our independence and the raw honesty this has allowed. We only hope that our trailblazing will help your ‘family’s recovery’ to be an easier road than ours.
We are not perfect, but learning and growing together now the healing in our marriage is complete.
If you are interested in the psychology of abusive relationships, please learn the signs of Narcissism and Codependence in your marriage.
When you are ready to move beyond psychology and get down to the business of building a better family, check out the steps involved at Family Fundamentals on this website.
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