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Action Point: A rule book of limits and procedures should be developed over time.

This rule book should include instructions on how important tasks (that are part of the families roles) should be completed. This may be as simple as a recipe file in the kitchen (Julie and I share our file on my Google Drive), and car cleaning and servicing instruction manuals in the garage.

You may also want to put together a cleaning manual giving instructions on your expectations on how cleaning and laundry jobs should be completed. This might be posted on the inside of the cleaning cupboard door.

Your AV manager will also want to document usernames and passwords and procedures for restarting modems, etc.

Limits, including, bedtimes, curfews and other rules should be managed with discernment but also written down somewhere that all family members can refer to. Perhaps consider making a book of these rules that will one day become a family heirloom.

Standards and policies, however, operate a bit differently but along with limits, they will end up forming part of your family’s rule book. These should be put together and be available to everyone in the family to refer to when needed.

Some examples of family standards and policies:

A family (dress) standard may be that men are expected to wear at least a singlet and shorts to the dinner table.

A family policy may be that the family walk visitors out to their car to say goodbye when they are leaving.

A family limit may be that young adults are expected home by 9.30pm on school nights.

What are your family’s standards, policies and limits? Deciding on these together to form your families rule book should be part of your family’s introduction to the DMP (decision-making process).

Kim is the author of seven books on the topic of relationships and emotional intelligence.

A prolific multi-media content innovator, Kim has created and shared a library of articles and multi-media educational tools including radio shows,
movies and poetry on 'The NC Marriage', and 'The Love Safety Net'.

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