“What’s Wrong With Me Talking to Her Anyway?”
Steve and I were in bed talking the other night when, out of the blue, my daughter came in to our room crying. Steve, being the gentleman he is, suddenly remembered something he had forgotten to attend to in the kitchen and left us girls to talk.
Through her tears my 16 year old said, “Mum how do you regulate jealousy?”
The story she shared was about her boyfriend spending time with a girl at his school that they both know has a romantic interest in him.
For privacy sake I won’t use real names but will call my daughter Julie, her boyfriend Tom and the girl at his school (who likes him) Leah.
What made the situation worse is that Tom admitted to my daughter Julie that he had bought a pack of cigarettes for Leah, in exchange for her giving him a couple that they smoked together out the back at school. This, when Tom was already grounded by his parents for smoking, meaning he was not allowed to see Julie who was missing him.
In the past whenever the topic of Leah comes up between them, my daughter has become angry and fought with him. This time, as usual, Tom kept saying, “I’m being honest with you, so you should trust me, but what is wrong with me talking to her anyway?” By now Julie knows that if she says, “Because it upsets me and you should care how I feel!” Then Tom will make out it is wrong for her to feel that way.
Maybe you have been in this type of no win conversation?
The solution I gave my daughter is a bit like horse whispering and I will share it with you in my members area post today.
Jealousy is such a brutal emotion, I was glad my daughter and I have the trust built between us that she let me help her through this tough situation.
If you are already a member click through here and read the advice I gave my daughter . . .
If not this series is part of our Intro Membership and also The Love Safety Net Love Boat tour of the Emotions. You can check out all of our subscription options here . . .
Do you need help regulating jealousy? Do you know what your emotions are telling you? The Love Safety Net Love Boat Tour of the Emotions is a great multimedia tour increase your emotional intelligence.