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Movie goes here . . .

Movie goes here . . .


As Jordan Peterson describes above, resentment is an emotion that can take us to some very dark places in our life. To escape this and regulate resentment in a healthy way, there are two different paths we must choose from.

First we must ask ourselves: “Are we truly being oppressed?”

a. If the answer is “Yes” – well there is work to be done and we must plan what we need to say or do to liberate ourselves.

b. We must look at this closely. Because despite our feelings of self pity, the answer may in fact be “No” and in truth we may have some growing up to do.

This reminds me of my eldest son who, when going through adolescence, thought me a tyrant because I expected him to clean up after himself.

He would pout angrily and tell me that I was treating him like a baby. Was he really being oppressed? His self pity told him he was. Now he lives on his own, however, he has come to appreciate the truth which is the opposite. By teaching him to clean up after himself I actually liberated him by helping him become more independent.

Because there are so many immature adults in the world right now, answering this question honestly may be tough.

For women (or codependent men) asking yourself these questions may help:

1. Are you able to soothe yourself and get back on track after an upset?

2. Are you able to regulate your own emotions and moods (or do you need your partner’s help keeping you happy or cheering you up when things upset you?)

3. Do you feel resentful that your husband doesn’t feel for you in all the ways that you expect him to?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, this may be a sign that the growing you need to do involves working on your codependence.

For men, Steve has a page on resentment which is part of his leadership challenge, that you can view a free version of here:

Don’t ignore Your Resentment


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Kim is the author of seven books on the topic of relationships and emotional intelligence.

A prolific multi-media content innovator, Kim has created and shared a library of articles and multi-media educational tools including radio shows,
movies and poetry on 'The NC Marriage', and 'The Love Safety Net'.

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