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Important Message: Please get started by downloading your copy of Back From the Looking Glass and 10 Steps to Overcome Codependence by clicking the link below. To save to your computer click option and 'save download' on a mac and right click…
Continued from What Success Looks Like When Magic Scissors Don't Work I can't tell you the number of people who thank me for sharing the idea of magic scissors with them. (You can read about this concept and self soothing in…
Don't Put Me Down! When I first Wrote Back From the Looking Glass - 13 Steps to a Peaceful Home (now in its 12th edition), it was a lot shorter than it is now and was called "Don't Put Me Down!"…
Steve Biddulph got me started with the ideas I will present in this series. My life changed when I read his classic book, The Secret of Happy Children. His advice was about dealing with children having tantrums. I would say most verbally abusive people just never had a parent help them grow out of this behaviour.
The pecking order is very real and whether you admit it to yourself or not, we make assessments all the time of whether the people around us have more or less power and influence than we do.
Denying that we judge people in this way won't make us innocent of power abuses, in fact the more we are aware of these internal assessments, the less likely we will be to abuse power in the hierarchies we live within.
Today I want to answer a question that I know you might be asking yourself, which is . . . "With everything going on in my life - can I really win this war?" Without knowing your situation, my answer is still, "Yes".
If you have begun trying some of the ideas offered in the previous articles in this series, you may find your partner does stop verbally abusing you, only to shift to a different type of anti-social behaviour. A common one of these is sulking, which will sometimes be dished out as a kind of punishment for you standing up for yourself.
The articles in this series, so far, have mostly been about dealing with other people in defense. It will be extremely helpful if you can begin to see when you are doing the same. It is much easier to see in others than it is to see in ourselves.
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